Loosing is a pain...

My first attempt moving up to 10NL hasn't gone well. I'm down about 4 buyins and because my confidence took quite a hit, I'm taking a step back for a couple of days/weeks? I wasn't playing that awful as a couple of hands were close, but I did get too much money in in marginal spots.

In one hand I hit two pair and build a big pot and villain rivers his two pair and I loose a buyin.

In another hand, I play aggressive but miss my OESD + FD on the river: another buyin gone.

A third buyin was lost in a hand where I made the wrong read.
I raise in LP with KK and get a call from villain (I think he was OTB).
Now this guy was playing rather aggressive and had called my raises a couple of times before.
Flop comes something like 5c4c9h and I make a potsized cbet which he calls.
Turn is a jack and I bet little over half the put (thinking he was on a draw).
He raises me, but it's not a big raise. At this point I'm in doubt: he could have a made hand, like a set or two pair or he could have a flush-draw or a combo-draw. Also, he probably knows I have an overpair here. I felt calling was no option, so it was push in or fold.
I pushed and he showed pocket 4's: adios to another buyin.
Afterwards, I was thinking about the size of his raise: maybe the fact that he put in a small raise should have told me he didn't have a draw...

I wasn't playing very well, got no action on my big hands, got a bit unlucky in a few spots and at the end I felt a tilt coming so I shut down the computer and took the loss.

It's not that big of a hit: my bankroll is still over $400 and I could continue at the 10NL tables but it doesn't feel right. A loss of a few buyins shouldn't destroy my confidence up to a point I'm wondering if I even have the slightest idea of what I'm doing.

Either way, I feel a $20 loss at the 5NL and a $40 loss at the 10NL warrants some reflection, so I've decided to take it slower and just stick to 1 or two tables and really think about the game, the hands and the decisions I make. Too often, I get into this numb clicking mode, not putting much thought into what I'm doing, not paying too much attention to what others are doing etc.

Also, I'm gonna try and switch to 6-max, partly because I'm worried playing 1 or 2 tables FR will bore me into bad play and partly because I feel 6-max tables allows you to get a better understanding of how your opponents play and it forces a more aggressive game. In the unlikely event I would progess to higher stakes, 6-max is more standard anyway.

Because I really want this to be a(nother) new start, I'm disregarding any previous results (even started a clean HEM database).

My goals for the rest of the year is to mix in 5NL and 10NL:
8k 5NL at 15 bb/100
20k 10NL at 8 bb/100

Considering the amount of time I put into poker (about 3 to 4 evenings per week), these goals are an absolute minimum to justify continuing to play poker. Money-wise it's not worth my time and if there's no progress, it makes more sense to devote my time to other fun things. Even though I enjoy poker a lot, it's not really a 'relaxing' activity, so I'd like some return on my time and 'stress' investment if I'm to keep playing in the future.

Anyway, first session yesterday was great: mostly 1 table (6max 5NL). I played aggressive, got a decent feel for my opponents' game and had a good result (up $9 in about 380 hands), picking up lots of pots (I even managed to win the first 7 hands I played). No 'grinder' feeling, no 'standard' clicking and no stress keeping up with all the tables, taking plenty of notes and generally having a good time.

Greetz!

Astafas